Warnings: Suggestion of sex games and exhibitionism.
Summary: Jack's attempts at being romantic didn't always work out the way he meant them to.
AN: I wrote this for the fifth challenge of the first round of the jack_ianto_las. This was written for the prompt "Arrogance diminishes wisdom".
"Oww," Jack moaned. He was a sorry figure, holding the bag of frozen peas to his forehead with his bottom lip poking out in a pout that would have been ridiculous on a man the age Jack looked, let alone the age he was.
Ianto had no sympathy. "It was your idea."
"Yeah, but I thought it would be sexy," Jack said, still looking mournful.
"Just don't try it again alright. Having to explain one accidental lock-down because you decided you want to surprise me with a mid-morning blowjob is quite enough. And honestly, what did you expect when you tried to do that in front of other people?"
Jack looked disappointed. "But Ianto," he said, throwing himself down on the sofa and laying his head in Ianto's lap, "I know you'd like it if you just gave it a try." He was giving Ianto that look of supreme confidence, the one that made Ianto's knees quiver.
With the deep, put-upon sigh of people in love with idiots everywhere, Ianto started running his fingers through Jack's hair. "You could at least have warned me you were going to be kneeling under that desk," he tried, although he knew the battle had already been lost. "Then I would never have tried to kick you, or assumed you were an alien threat."
Jack's eyebrows and dimples were clearly working in some sinister alliance to try and suggest, through very subtle methods, that it was in fact Ianto who was nuts. "But then it wouldn't have been surprisingly sexy."
Ianto wondered if he was going crazy or whether he was just beginning to understand Jack's twisted logic. "Fine, we'll try it again, but this time at least I'll know that this is a possibility." The look of victory in Jack's eyes did not exactly fill him with confidence. He couldn't help but think that Jack's arrogance may allow him to do stupid things without realising how stupid they were, but Ianto himself, finding that confidence sexy, had been tricked into doing said stupid things, despite realising quite how stupid they were. And, somehow, he was quite sure that made him the bigger idiot.
Then again, he found himself thinking as Jack lurched up from his relaxed position to snog him and shove a hand down his trousers, there were some pretty awesome perks. And as long as nothing else got set on fire, it probably would be better this time, right?